one of his essays as a class assignment. According to the instructors critique, it's clear that there are
areas to improve upon but overall she was pleased with Eric's progress.
In body paragraph one the instructors' critique regarding your thesis statement and organization of
sub-topics was strong. The purpose of such a strong critique in this area is due to the importance
of maintaining a flow. In order to flow consistently sub-topics should be discussed separately, this
not only keeps the audience engaged but also decreases confusion.
Other areas of concern as critiqued in body paragraph two, is your use of quotes and lack of
incorporating them in your essay using proper citations. In regards to this critique I would have to
agree. The proper use of quotes and citing them correctly gives the audience a clear view of what
Is being said and by whom.
The instructors' critique regarding Eric's use of or over use of rhetorical devices is very useful for
the writing of future essays. Again I'm in agreement with this critique due to my lack of expertise
in this area. She feels your sentences run on and lack strong vocabulary. Avoiding the use of these
devices also improves the flow of the essay, which in turn keeps the reader informed and engaged.
In conclusion, the instructors' critique of Eric's essay in my opinion was fair. The importance of
this critique is necessary to improve upon the essay writing technique. With the advice from the
instructors critique Eric is well on his way to taking the Excelsior Exam and passing with flying colors.
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